The Unattainable Dream

Have you ever had a dream that seemed unattainable? What is to be done with those dreams?

Should they be tossed to the side, never to be thought of again? Should you keep them on the back burner and live with that constant thorn in your side? Or perhaps, you pick it up from time to time and try to take small steps toward making it a reality, while knowing that there isn’t a remote chance of it ever coming true? I’ve done all the above.

For years, I’d walk the aisles of Barnes and Noble, run my hands over the books and sigh, wishing I could someday have my own book on one of those shelves. That was my unattainable dream.

When I was a young girl, the local bookmobile would drive out into our part of the countryside. My sisters and I would ride our bikes to where it parked and choose a handful to take home for the week. I loved how a book could transport me to another place, another time.

I wish I could recall the name of the first book that did just that for me. What I do remember is that it took me to the 1920s and allowed me to experience the adventures of a farm family who lived in poverty, but were happy, nonetheless. I don’t remember any big event that occurred in the book, only that I wanted to read more about their daily lives. That book set me on a lifelong path to read stories of people who live life differently than what I’ve personally experienced. I will forever seek out books that set me in another era and in a far-off place.

Another book that made an impact on me, as a child, was Ginnie and the Mystery Doll, by Catherine Woolley, about a girl and her family who spend their summers in the same house, on the same seashore every year. That alone sparked an interest in me, vacationing in a place so familiar that it feels like home. With a sweet mystery added into the mix, this book made an impression on me, so much so that I recently bought it for my grandchildren.

As I grew older, I began to write short stories and poetry, for my eyes only, never sharing them with anyone.  In my Junior year of High School, I was fortunate to have a young teacher who assigned our class the task of writing a story from a single line prompt. After reading mine, she was complimentary and inspired me to keep writing.

After High School, life came at me fast and furious. Married at age eighteen and a baby at nineteen with two more children soon after, life was full and busy, which left no time for creative endeavors. My dream was set aside and mostly forgotten for thirty years, apart from those moments walking through the aisles of a bookstore.

A year after a trip to France, I had an idea for a mystery novel, which I told only my sister about. She loved the idea and constantly encouraged me to keep at it. I would think about the story from time to time, and soon a plot began to form in my mind. To keep up with the ever-growing narrative, I outlined each scene, each chapter on a chalkboard where it remained for almost a decade. In 2020, when the world came to a complete halt, I figured there would never be a better time to start writing it. I sat in my recliner for sometimes seventeen hours a day, pecking away at my little tale. In just over a month, I teared up writing the words, ‘The End’, unaware that years of edits would follow.

Fast forward to July of 2024, when my historical fiction, dual timeline mystery novel, The Painting Box, was published and officially for sale on Amazon in hardcover and paperback and as an e-book @ barnesandnoble.com. Though it hasn’t gone through wide distribution yet, I will continue the process until one day, I will walk into a bookstore and see that my unattainable dream was not unattainable at all.